Dear Boggled,

The answer to this one is easy, my dear. The short form is "No, do you?"

The longer version is that your position on this issue is the same as that of most Christian churches. If the ritual is an open one, anyone who behaves him or herself is welcome to attend. However just as only confirmed or baptized Christians, and in some cases members of that specific Church, are allowed to participate in parts of the ritual, in order to participate more fully, a person must share the beliefs of the coven - and Witches don't even believe in Satan, much less honor him.

Dear Boggled,

Well, let's see. You might try ANSWERING THE QUESTION!

It's easy, there's only two options: "Yes" or "No." Which is it? I mean, you could try to be creative and choke on a turkey leg, requiring multiple attempts at the Heimlich maneuver and a nice ride in the back of an ambulance, but that might be going a wee bit out of your way to dodge the question. Let's face the facts, though: I bet you, like every other Pagan in existence, have a very definite stand on the Satanist question. (If not, you shrug and mumble "I dunno, maybe" around a mouthful of potatoes.) So, you either bore the poor nosey woman to death with a very detailed answer, weighing the pros and cons, deliberating over every nuance, re-evaluating every decision even remotely related to the issue, OR you shock her. I'd go with the latter, personally, but that's just my grating personality coming through.

Suggestions to try:
"Sure do. We also invite the Moral Majority. Wanna come?"

"No. Why, did you want to come?"

"Of course. They let us have the goat after the sacrifice. Great barbecue! Tastes almost as good as this turkey."

"We support freedom of religion. It's the only responsible choice after 9/11."

"Well, actually, we didn't until Bobby here joined us."

"They don't like to associate with us."

"Yep. Want me to fix you up with one?"

"Eeeewwww!"

Look, the point here is that it doesn't really matter whether you do or don't. It's whether you've thought through the decision. Isn't that part of what makes you Pagan anyway?